BELIEFS: which role do you play?

If we look at the definition of life, we can find that life is the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death. What I like the most from this definition is continual change.

If life is just constant change, we do not exactly know what the future will bring to us, and sometimes it is hard to understand why certain things happened. We are asking ourselves, why does this happen to me? and just want to better plan our upcoming situations, we observe the present from the edge where we are standing on. Life shows us two paths to follow and based on our beliefs, culture, experiences, scars, dreams, and those little pieces of madness that everyone has, we choose where we are headed to walk.

I believe that we are made of several beliefs, our parent’s beliefs, the ones we learned from our lovers, the ones shared with our friends, and the ones we built ourselves. For me, there are three main beliefs:

First, life is a one-way ticket journey. Life moves forward into change, if you do not get up, do not move and walk, you do not remain still, other people’s decisions are driving you. You could decide to be a pilot or copilot in your life but you are not able to decide to stop, because time doesn’t.

Secondly, if you are not the main character in your life, you play the victim’s role. I know saying the victim is a strong statement and I do not have the intention to underestimate people who went through an injustice situation beyond their control. Nevertheless, I believe in: “you cannot control what happens to you but you decide how to react to it” I think that statement is true. This is when you decide which role you choose. 

If after falling 5 times, we get up 6; when we decide to forgive the one who hurt us without the need of listening to any apology from them; when we go against the tide and dismiss the criticism. We play the leading lady or leading man role. 

Otherwise, we could repeat to ourselves that life has been so hard that we’re not able to get up 6 times; or let life move forward while in our copilot spot we wait for that apology we claim to deserve. We could even stop ourselves from doing what we love the most by being terrified for not being strong enough to support criticism. We could always claim to be a victim of circumstances.

The same role-play occurs daily in our lives. How we treat the people we like and the ones we dislike or if we decide to smile or to put a long face to strangers that cross our way are good examples. Another belief I have is that a genuine smile can change anyone’s mood.

And the reality is that the victim role could be a very comfortable one. I used to tell myself that because of work I do not have enough time to do anything or that my last relationship didn’t work because my partner didn’t love me strong enough, blaming work or my partner instead of accepting my part of the responsibility. Even with this blog, I haven’t started before justifying myself by stating that I wasn’t a writer.

Is not about being always positive or productive, nobody should try to live a perfect life which is impossible, and even trying to, must be tiring. We need to learn to choose when we have to fight our battles and when we don’t. Some days we get up as soon as the alarm clock sounds and some days we need five more minutes; there are times we are ready to take on the world and others in which we just need Netflix and chill.

There are not good or bad ones, there are just decisions.

And the last belief I will share today is that the best way of living life is to be in peace with ourselves. Sometimes the world keep saying that we need to be in a constant pursuit of happiness but we cannot be happy at all times, and feeling sad is healthy and necessary to express our feelings. However, we can always be at peace knowing that our actions and motives are aligned.

Trough writing I express myself and let my feelings flow pursuing that peace. I love writing, I do it every day, to order my thoughts, to vent, to give advice, to create stories, and to express love. 

To be the leading lady of my own story, I try to follow this beliefs that resonate with me. If you want to, share with me one belief you have and I’ll love to read about it.